Four years ago I lived in New England, specifically New Hampshire. I was excited to be able to witness first hand the insanity that is the New Hampshire primaries in a fully open election. Meanwhile the Patriots were marching towards greatness, decimating anyone and everyone that stood in their way en route to a perfect season. Both wound up as huge disappointments. Maybe I was too busy to notice, but the political scene was underwhelming to me. There were some good moments, like the Dennis Kucinich supporter who offered me a free copy of the Constitution. “No thanks, I’ve got Al Haig’s copy” was my reply. It went right over the 19 year old’s head. But there was, at least to me, a notable lack of nutjob candidates shouting in the street, the one exception being Mike Gravel. Looks like I missed the boat by 4 years though, as Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry were hilarious. And when the Super Bowl came around, I admit it, I rooted for the Giants. I wanted a perfect season ended by Eli Manning. That would be funnier than Trent Dilfer winning a Super Bowl. Hilarity ensued on that epic drive in an otherwise boring game and my wish was granted. But now, four years later… it’s not funny anymore Eli. The 2007 Giants were one of the worst Super Bowl winners, and the 2011 Giants would trump that. That’s not just hyperbole. No team has ever reached the Super Bowl with a negative point differential, but the Giants have. At 9-7, they would have the worst record to ever win a Super Bowl. In fairness, Manning did have a very good season, it pains me to say that. But the Giants didn’t, they stunk all season long. The defense was putrid, the running game was non-existent. Once again Tom Coughlin had his job on the line, and what happens? They get a very favorable matchup in the Super Bowl. The Giants have an excellent set of WRs and the Patriots DBs are a collection of stiffs, and what worked in 2007 still works today: get to Brady, and the Giants can do that. So great, they might win. We’ll get two weeks of how Eli Manning showed he was “elite” against the Patriots in Week 9, all the while ignoring that against a statistically pathetic defense the Giants totals were only 20 yards and 1 point off of what the Patriots were averaging at that time. All of this forces me to root for Tom Brady, who already has everything one could want (and some things you don’t, such as child support payments) and the insufferable Bill Belichick. Good job New York, you’ve got the nation rooting for the Evil Empire and it’s in Boston. I hope you’re happy.
Now excuse me while I go puke in a trash can.