What, Me Worry?

The Eagles are 1-2 and will almost certainly be 1-3 after going to Denver this weekend. The offense looked amazing in Week 1 and really good in Week 2 and then in Week 3 looked like that scene from The Simpsons where Sideshow Bob keeps stepping on rakes. Shit happens. The defense has been all over the place, the coaching staff is still figuring things out.

None of this is cause for concern. This is the team that we expected: capable of greatness and ineptitude, sometimes in the same game. Like I’ve said, the ugly parts of this team will be by players who largely aren’t the future. Meanwhile enjoy the good stuff by the ones who are. Mike Vick is turning the ball over, so what? He’s not the future of this team. LeSean McCoy is and he’s playing great. Riley Cooper is terrible, so what? He’s not a long term solution either. DeSean Jackson is and is playing great. Todd Herremans looks bad out there, so what? He’s not the future. Lane Johnson is and looks as good as you can reasonably expect from a rookie. The safeties look awful, so what? Allen will be gone and Chung is a stop gap measure. Brandon Boykin looks good and Bradley Fletcher has done a nice job; Cary Williams is Cary Williams. It’s not all roses of course, after a great game against the Redskins, Mychal Kendricks hasn’t looked good in the last two games.

Whatever level of panic you are at, it’s nothing compared to:

The 49ers, who should have no shame losing to the Seahawks on the road and some shame at losing to the Colts at home, but should have lots of shame at the way they lost, only scoring 10 points total in those two games. Frank Gore can’t get out of neutral, Nnamdi Asomugha is getting regular playing time, Aldon Smith has to go sit in the corner and the offense can’t stop turning the ball over. The schedule isn’t doing them any favors right now as they go to St. Louis on Thursday and then host the Texans.

The Falcons, who are full of aging and broken down players, have lost most of their few good defensive players to injury, their line is a bunch of figure skaters and they were overrated coming off a soft schedule 13-3 season anyway. Another (supposed) Super Bowl contender that is 1-2.

The Packers, who are openly bitching at each other on the sidelines after a clusterfuck loss to the Bengals. Yet another Super Bowl contender finds themselves in an early hole in the division.

The Vikings, who actually thought they would be good this year. They must have forgotten that Christian Ponder is their QB.

The Steelers, who were going to have a down year but not this ineptly. They might go 2-14 this year if the offense can turn it around. Todd Haley is a disaster.

The Buccaneers, who are a clown show. Their coach hates his QB, his QB hates him and doesn’t give a shit so they benched him and their season is already over, as they are 0-3 and lack the talent and coaching to go on the 10-3 run they will need to make the playoffs.

The Giants, who fucking suck.

The Redskins, fuck also fucking suck.

Imagine being a fan of those teams.

So everybody relax. Stop worrying about time of possession. Stop worrying about a defense you knew would be crappy for being crappy. Stop worrying about a turn over prone QB turning over the ball. Stop worrying about everything that you knew would suck about this season sucking. Let’s just have fun this year. The way things are going, they might win the division! And then we’ll all look back and laugh. And I’ll tell you “I told you so.”


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